| | I'm stressed. sad. confused. excited. ecstatic. yearning. regretful. happy. thrilled. frustrated. content. scared. never been better.
I have the whole gamut of emotions running through me at various times. a year from now, it'll all be over. I'll be married. But for now, I have to plan the wedding, say goodbye to my parents and siblings and thanks for the past 20 years of my life, say goodbye to my fiance as I leave on Sunday for another semester of school 16 hours away, get over conflicts of interest in wedding planning, and keep my focus on Jesus.
and it's tough. 4 months. 4 months I'll be graduated. oh yeah, which reminds me, I have to say goodbye to the relationships and life I've developed at LeTU. the life that I've had for only 2 years--2 1/2 come December. not the full 4. goodbye to my favorite job I've ever had--working security at LeTU.
and 4 months. 4 months I'll be married.
It's like a snowball--my life took a sudden turn this past Sunday, and it's picking up speed as the ball heads downhill. it's hitting rocks, like the goodbyes that have to take place. and honestly, those are the biggest rocks. There are smaller ones (which are pretty stressful themselves), such as the church being booked on the one December date Jordan and I can get married. but I'm having a super tough time getting ready to leave my family. Essentially, with fall/thanksgiving breaks included, I have a total of 2 weeks left with them under their roof. I'm extremely close to them, so it's very, very hard.
......
yet I'm so excited for the wedding--Jordan's and my relationship has gotten so intense. It's good we're getting married in December. The sooner the better. We're having a harder time being away from each other...and I'm still at home! He's the person I want next to me all the time, whatever I do. God has developed an incredible love story for us, and it's finally culminating in our marriage! so I'm absolutely ecstatic and thrilled and just everything good.
Those lyrics by Katy Perry go well with me, changed a little. "I'm up and I'm down, I'm yes and I'm no, I'm in and I'm out, I'm hot and I'm cold."
But this is what God wants us to do. So we're doing it. and we'll get through conflicts in our relationship about the wedding planning. and we'll get through the goodbyes. Married life is a whole 'nother stage of life, so I'll be very preoccupied with it, rather than being preoccupied with who I'm without. Cuz now I'm with the one person I want to be with!
if anyone has any tips on being married or whatever, let me know!!
(by the way, point blank, we did not change the date from May to December because I'm pregnant--I'm not. Logistically it just works out way better, in terms of where we live and what I'm doing, etc.)
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| | Posted 8/13/2009 12:59 AM - 7 Views - 2 eProps - 1 Comment
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. Being married is amazing! Planning a wedding can be extremely stressful, but the day itself is wonderful. Good advice that I got: don't go into marriage with a rigid set of expectations, because there will always be surprises and differences to overcome. 